The Evening Haröld

A University has asked students to pee in the shower in the morning to help save water by not having to flush the toilet.

We are fully behind the plan, and that’s why we bring you these five things to remember when peeing in the shower.

1. When peeing in the shower, it is only polite you ask the person using it first.
2. Peeing in the shower will save water by not having to flush, but that excuse won’t stop you being banned from the local swimming baths, so best stick to the one at home.
3. In shared accommodation it may not be possible to wait until you get your turn in the shower, so you can use the alternatives. It is also perfectly acceptable to use the sink, the bath, or the dishwasher. Urine is a great steriliser.
4. Should peeing in the shower lead to something more substantial and brown, don’t try and push it through the plug hole like a play-doh toy. Use the opportunity to do some recycling, repackaging your poo in a Lush bag and pretending it’s a bath bomb gift for your roommate.
5. As we have already established, peeing during a shower is perfectly acceptable, but if the rain stops, so must you. On the same subject, and following Eddie’s arrest we must remind you, an umbrella isn’t a target.