Clacton’s returning officer last night
There has been a good deal of misinformation and hype about the dreadful and horrific killer Ebola plague. We try to separate the facts from the Daily Mail.
Where does it come from? The virus emanates from fruit bats in regions of Africa. At some point it seems to have crossed over to humans.
Does that mean that batty people are more likely to contract it? We believe this is possible. Symptoms include eccentricity and joining UKIP.
Will there be screening? Some limited screening is being undertaken with Tories MPs regularly checked. However, following the Clacton by-election there are fears that it may have spread to the general public.
How is it spread? Conventional medical opinion is that it is very hard to contract, but the outbreak in Clacton was followed almost immediately by one in Lancashire. Questionnaires or opinion polls are providing some information as to the spread of the virus.
Is there a vaccine? Not as yet. Experts recommend isolation and staying indoors until it’s either all blown over or the country has been decimated. With luck we will be safe after May 2015.
So, how is Ebola linked with UKIP? That’s a silly question. The sort of thing the tabloids would use as a headline just to grab the reader’s attention.
Evening Harold editor: We’re very sorry about this. Our correspondent seems to have mixed up the rise of Ebola with the threat of UKIP. The spread of UKIP is very serious and should not have been trivialised in this way.
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