Volume-wise this one goes all the way up to eleven
The NHS has launched a new scheme aimed squarely at the selfish and the sociopathic. Hospital patients can now rent any machine that makes a noise guaranteeing them fast and full attention from nurses. Continue reading
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Filed under Health
From the outset the décor felt ‘clinical’
With health tourism on the increase and the NHS being asked to charge more for it’s holiday services, we decided to take a weekend city break at the Luton and Dunstable University Hospital to review the amenities of this growing holiday sector.
Arriving at the hospital on a Friday evening, the first thing that we noticed is the large amounts of Brits that were very drunk and had clearly been fighting. Although we were located between Luton and Dunstable, this could have been any Spanish resort favoured by package holiday travel agents.
The receptionist seemed to be over-worked when we finally reached her desk. We were tenth in line when we joined the end of it, however we did notice the typical holiday problem of other being unable to queue. It seems that at this location arriving in an ambulance gives you priority checking in and saves you a four hour wait. Had it said this in the brochure, we may have opted for the ‘car crash’ option.
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Anyone who claims to crave this in times of stress is a liar and a hound.
There were mixed reactions in Harold yesterday as its nearest A&E unit at Dunstable Royal Infirmary announced that they have banned junk food. All the vending machines have been emptied and unplugged and the coffee shop has been replaced with a concession of Harold café Veggie! Veggie! Veggie!
“We are delighted to be looking after the needs of poor, dear Haroldites who’ve had a mishap,” trilled owner Pippa Delaney. “Now instead of thoughtlessly gorging themselves on sweet tea and crisps as they wait for treatment they can enjoy pickled mustard greens, soy puffs and lovely avocado sushi all washed down with a range of sugar-free fruit cordials.” Continue reading
The Royal College of Administrators has come out to today and asked for a review into the amount of nursing its members are currently having to perform.
Off its 1.2 million NHS workers surveyed, 67.4% said they spend up to 22 hours a week giving basic first aid, post-operative care, and working in triage
Most of those surveyed also believe the amount of nursing they are expected to do is increasing and stopping them providing a decent level of administrative support.
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