Tag Archives: review

Cumberbatch’s Hamlet first night: Player ratings

the danish game

It was a play of two halves.

For those of you unable to make the long awaited opening night performance and unable to view it on You Tube thanks to a rather unreasonable ban on mobile filming, our Arts Correspondent Mariella Buss-Stop puts down her pint and casts her eyes over the cast’s performance at Elsinore last night.

From their hissed greeting at the appearance of old King Hamlet’s ghost to the mass weeping hysteria when the great one dies, the pubescent Cumberbitches’ in the audience made their presence felt last night at the Barbican. It could take days to mop up.

Here are my ratings for the players:            Continue reading

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Filed under Culture, Showbusiness

App Review: Periscope allows friends to now share their tedious shit LIVE

image Twitter’s new live streaming app, Periscope, has revolutionised the way dull friends can share their tedious shit by giving you, their ever-grateful friend, a chance to see it live.

Once upon a time, friends sharing pictures of their every meal was the staple diet of social media. Periscope takes that to the next level giving you the chance to watch them cook it, and eat it, all in real time leaving you to realise that turning down every invitation to a dinner party they were having was pointless.

And for those of you that think other people’s kids are, on the whole, snotty little infection spreading devil creatures, you’ll be glad that now you don’t have to flick through the 30,000 pictures of little Tommy on the swing to create the illusion of him moving, you can watch him do it live, hoping to God he falls out at least giving you something to laugh at.

To the delight of the NSA and GCHQ, Periscope is not only for your friends to show you in real time that their cat is “soooooooo cute” because the furry rugby ball can lick its own arse while purring like every other cat. You can also use it to spy on people from all over the world, with their consent.

This has led to endless mind-numbing live streams of news anchors and reporters using Periscope to show them reading the news. This is a truly amazing and eye-opening revelation for anyone unable to get to grips with the complex operation of turning on the TV.

Periscope has also become the new home on the Internet for perverts who think that a woman pointing a camera at themselves is an automatic invitation for requests to ‘show your tits’, with many of the perverts unable to even stretch their vocabulary to the full sentence of the request opting instead for just one word, ‘boobs’.

So all in all, everyone live streaming every detail of their mundane lives is frankly a novelty that we hope will wear off soon or hopefully evolve quicker than many of the knuckle draggers that fill up some of the comments.

Now we must shoot off and watch more of this highly addictive rubbish so we can sneer at it a bit more. We might even live stream a bit ourselves. Have you seen what our office blame monkey Cleggsy McCoy looks like on the toilet?

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Filed under Culture, Lifestyle, News, Technology

The Hobbit: Heigh-ho, more Dwarves

F I L M    R E V I E W

Mariella Buss-Stop gets to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug


As an aficionado of all of films in the Hobbit franchise, I was delighted to attend the district premiere of the latest offering at the Harold Empire so I could catch up with the latest adventures of Bilbo, Frodo and Dildo.

Now, it could be down to the effects of a rather jolly lunch or tiredness from last night’s Christmas lock-in but I have to admit to finding the film rather confusing and from the moment I thought I recognised Tom Cruise as Shorty, one of the seven dwarves, I rather lost concentration. Continue reading

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Filed under Culture, News, Showbusiness

Review into healthcare proposes two-tier system; NHS or BUPA


A review into the NHS and emergency treatment has suggested a two-tier healthcare system; NHS or BUPA.

“This new system will be easy to understand” Prof Sir Bruce Keogh, the NHS director who led the review explained.

“Those who wish to be seen, diagnosed and treated in less than four hours, all in the comfort of a clean, well-funded hospital and complimentary dressing gown can go to a BUPA hospital.”

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Filed under Health, News, Politics

Health tourism: Local hospital reviewed. 3 stars

From the outset the décor felt 'clinical'

From the outset the décor felt ‘clinical’

With health tourism on the increase and the NHS being asked to charge more for it’s holiday services, we decided to take a weekend city break at the Luton and Dunstable University Hospital to review the amenities of this growing holiday sector.

Arriving at the hospital on a Friday evening, the first thing that we noticed is the large amounts of Brits that were very drunk and had clearly been fighting. Although we were located between Luton and Dunstable, this could have been any Spanish resort favoured by package holiday travel agents.

The receptionist seemed to be over-worked when we finally reached her desk. We were tenth in line when we joined the end of it, however we did notice the typical holiday problem of other being unable to queue. It seems that at this location arriving in an ambulance gives you priority checking in and saves you a four hour wait. Had it said this in the brochure, we may have opted for the ‘car crash’ option.
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Filed under Medicine, News, Travel