You’re nicked!
A damning report into the Metropolitan Police has found that London’s black cars are almost twice as likely to be beaten up by crazed policemen than vehicles of any other colour.
In 2015, there were 849 incidents of police brutality involving black or dark-hued automobiles, compared with 450 cases of white cars being damaged in custody.
“These figures show that the streets are just not safe for vehicles of colour,” claimed Albert Renfrew of the activist organisation “Black Cars Matter”.
“Our capital’s motorists face this sort of blatant discrimination every day. Just last week, my local police decided to smash up my own immaculate black Mini, even though it was parked next to a white Skoda with flat tyres, no MOT and a large painting of a policeman with a penis for a head on the bonnet.”
“I don’t think this is a coincidence.”
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