North Face launches compression sack for London tenants

Enough room to swing a vacuum-packed cat.

London’s rental crisis could be eased, by compressing tenants into tiny bags.

That’s the claim of North Face, the popular survival brand behind a new sack that allows up to 15 people to squeeze into even the smallest stairwell.

Made from a breathable fabric that leaves occupants comfortable even if they soil themselves in the night, the highly sought-after device is already sold out in most desirable postcodes.

Originally designed to make sleeping bags small so they can be carried by scouts and ramblers, engineers discovered they could compress an average-sized human by making the straps just a little thicker.

“We can’t build them fast enough at the moment so if you want one, I’m afraid you’ll have to rent”, said Wombat Ovens. “But our engineers are working on a new generation with even stronger straps, so you can squeeze two people into one of the original designs.”

Sub-letting compression sacks is already seen as a practical way of beating the housing crisis. As resident Simon Evans explained, “It may be cramped, but it still beats living out of my parents’ pockets.”