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BBC to consider recalling Nick Robinson early


The decision will be taken today whether or not Nick Robinson should be recalled out of hibernation.

The BBC look set to make the decision at a time when journalists traditionally take time off.

This has left them with a shortage of reporters to camp out side the main news stories: No 10 to cover the political discussions around military action in Syria, and in Scotland covering the second biggest birth event if the year, a pregnant panda.

A BBC spokesman said: “at this time of year, political reporting types like Nick are placed in a cardboard box with hole in the top and filled with straw, enough food and a copy of Private Eye.”

“They are then placed in the new Blue Peter garden in Salford for a couple of months, before being transported back to London and awoken in a controlled environment around Central Lobby.”

Although this has been done before, the Royal Society for treating Political Correspondents like Animals (RSPCA) has warned unless done with care the early reawakening process could cause problems with their body clock.

“It has been known that they think they are in September already” one RSPCA officer told us.

“When Andrew Marr was recalled early to cover the invasion of Iraq, he spent the first few days reporting on a Queen’s Speech that had not yet been written.”

“The confusion between what his brain was expecting and what he was hearing caused long-term, irreversible damage to his ears.”

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Levels of BS in central London reach dangerously low levels.

houses-of-parliamentEvaluations by environmental health officers in Westminster have shown that levels of bullshit (BS) have reached dangerously low levels. This has seen concerns for those in the media that feed off the BS, usually from a prime harvesting location outside 10 Downing Street.

The lower than usual levels of BS has been linked to the summer recess in parliament. As with honey production being down due to the lack of bees in the UK, BS production has hit an all time low as MPs pretend to do constituency work from yachts in the Mediterranean Continue reading

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