Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, emphasised his credentials to lead the country today by bravely battering a 10 year-old Japanese boy to the ground.
During a visit to Japan Johnson fearlessly agreed to take part in a vicious game known as ‘touch rugby’. During this event he warded off an attempted assault by the child, who may be a member of some sort of street gang, using just his bare hands.
“The local kids were playing this game which involved a lot of running about and looked like it had potential to turn nasty.” said an aide who accompanied the mayor on his trip,
“Despite our protestations Boris accepted an invitation to join in. Soon afterwards he had the ball and sure enough this lad headed straight for him, looking to take him out.”
“Boris didn’t even flinch though, he just dipped his shoulder and ran straight through the little sod.Bang! Take that, nobody messes with the mayor of London.”
Before heading home from Tokyo Johnson is expected to fly to China and punch a panda in the face.