Tag Archives: union

Boris Johnson’s wife votes Leave

Pfft and harumph

Boris Johnson’s wife Marina Wheeler has triggered Article 50. They have been in a union for 25 years but Marina now insists it’s time to take back control of her borders.

“He thinks he’s Big Daddy,”‘she said, “but in truth he’s just a Giant Haystack.”

Dubbed ‘Bojexit’, the divorce is already proving controversial, with Boris withdrawing his earlier complaint that Marina was costing him £350 million a week.

“Surely, marriage means marriage,” said Harold pensioner Doris Kettle. “How come they get another vote on it?”

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Filed under Around Harold, breaking news, Civil rights, Entertainment, EU referendum, News, Tory sex scandal, Troubled Families

Tube drivers commemorate day London got moving by going on strike

train driver

Drivers undergo exhaustive training.

London’s tube train drivers are marking the tenth anniversary of the day London defiantly got moving again, by defiantly staying in bed.

With a paltry £2.5k bonus and a 2 percent payrise to top up their meagre £50k salary on offer, rail workers claimed it wasn’t enough to stop them treating their customers with utter contempt.

“It’s tradition”, said Terence Cockney, who is employed to sit down near a lever. “We always strike at Christmas, bank holidays or when it causes the most offence.”
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Picture special: Archbishop denies conflict of interest at Churches first credit union meeting

Welby thought it best not to bring his ceremonial crook, or Earl as he is known

Welby thought it best not to bring his ceremonial crook, or Earl as he is known

As you would expect, the meeting of the Churches first credit union meeting in Harold created a huge amount of interest.

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by | July 26, 2013 · 1:36 pm

Union to disassociate itself from Ed Miliband

The leader of the Labour party set to disown Ed Miliband

The leader of the Labour party set to disown Ed Miliband

Len McCluskey, leader of the Unite union, will come out today and announce plans to abolish the automatic enrolment of members into the Labour party. Wishing to bring the union back to values of equality and fairness, he believes the automatic affiliation of anyone to Ed Miliband may go against their human rights.

“We know that we had supported Ed Miliband in the past, even helping him win the leadership election despite the fact most people would have preferred his brother” Mr McCluskey told reporters.
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