‘Does anyone mind if I borrow the pool car?’
The much-cherished car, a low mileage 1983 Buick Riviera with the desirable landau roof option, had belonged to an elderly man who went missing at around the same time.
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Tag Archives: car
‘Much loved’ missing car found 10 years later with skeleton inside
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Filed under Motoring
Free car winter check includes advice on Christmas decorations
All set for winter.
“Last year saw a dramatic rise in automotive festivity awareness”, said fire officer Liam Hosier. “But sadly, some of them were a bit shit.”
Keen to avoid a repeat of 2014’s bobble-headed crap snowman tragedy, Hosier’s checks will focus on utilising a vehicle’s 12-volt sockets.
Using a small hammer and a bent rusty nail, the village fire crew will upgrade your car’s standard fuse box to cope with the extra power demands.
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Filed under Around Harold, Christmas
BMWs recalled after hackers manage to activate indicators
Police warned the attack could make BMWs drive predictably.
BMW owners have been warned that they’re vulnerable to attack by hackers, after an owner reported that his car had been overcome by mystery flashing lights.
Using a computer to access the vehicle’s Infotainment system, hackers activated some redundant old code and let other road users know where the hell it was going.
Derek Hostage was driving his BMW X6 when the attack happened, and explained how the lights came on as he was cutting up an ambulance.
“The lights completely took me by surprise”, claimed Hostage, “so I swerved into a bus stop and stuck my fingers up at the waiting queue.”
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Filed under Motoring, Technology
Diesel car drivers face £10 charge to help reduce smug levels
Drivers of diesel cars are to face an extra charge of up to £10 on top of the congestion charge in London to help compensate for the amount of smug they give off.
Environmental groups have welcome the plans saying the amount of smug given of by diesel car drivers when talking about their fuel efficiency is becoming a serious health risk to everyone.
A spokesperson for the Green Party said: “Smug levels in the South East and especially London have always been high, with ‘banker bonus season’ creating a smug cloud so bad it is hard to see the top of Canary Wharf.
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Labour announce plans for ‘teacher MOT’ followed by teacher tax and third party insurance
Labour’s shadow education secretary Tristram Hunt, has announced a Labour government would reintroduce plans for a ‘teacher MOT’ but also go one step further and make it mandatory for them to also pay for and display a tax disc and hold valid insurance.
“The MOT will take place every 5 years and would look at a teacher’s ability to engage a class, their ability to educate children , and an emissions test” Mr Hunt explained.
“Health and Safety officers have also asked us to check the tread depth of their shoes and make sure levels of caffeine are being kept topped up.
Admin error sees murder rates soar
Murder rates in the village of Harold have risen dramatically over the last 3 weeks following an admin error on a speed awareness sign. The sign, which was ordered by a now sacked JSA claimant, tells drivers to ‘kill a child, not your speed’, but a reduction in funding means it would now be too expensive to replace.
Recent local government cuts has meant replacing the sign is out of the question. The local council have tried to use Tip-ex to amend the sign to read ‘kill your speed, not a child’, but have found parents too eager to scratch it off.
Councillor Ronsson, ex-father of three, explained the difficulties the council were having. “The people of Harold are a very moral bunch, so when they see Tip-ex on a sign they immediately clear the graffiti off. Unfortunately they respect authority as well, so did exactly what the sign says, some a little too keenly.”
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Filed under Around Harold, News, Politics
Plans for futuristic electric car promising ‘infinite range’ go flat
1979 Mini-metro is at the forefront of modern motoring
A pair of keen environmentalists, who locked themselves in a shed for 12 years promising not to come out until they had developed a long range electric car, have finally unveiled their adapted 1979 Mini-Metro.
“The exciting thing about this car is that the range is pretty much infinite” John Goody, one of the pair explained. “The only thing that restricts the distance is your imagination, and the length of the extension cable you use.
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Filed under Around Harold, Lifestyle, News
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