Author Archives: rickw

Erection in her honour

Supporters of the deceased ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher have proposed the erection in her honour of a mile-high memorial pyramid, visible from space, made from pure gold and shining with the light of a thousand suns.

“We’d originally planned a library,” explained former Conservative chairman Lord Tebbit, but that felt a bit rubbish and prone to closure, and one thing sort of led to another.”

The newly-formed “Cherish Freedom Trust” has announced that it wants the pyramid, which will be based in, and cover most of, central London, “to bring Margaret Thatcher’s legacy, values and achievements to life for the wider public, and to be a true heritage resource where schoolchildren, historians and millions of ant-like insignificant specs of humanity can come and pitifully kneel and ideally keep the structure well-cleaned with their tongues.”

Arguments are raging over the choice of design, with possible plans including a gargantuan handbag, a colossal glinting phallus, or a pyramid.

Suggestions that the mighty edifice could be paid for out of the huge tax cuts recently gifted to Britain’s elite were dismissed as “expensive” by corrupt tax-avoiding bastards this morning. Instead, the original Egyptian construction model is looking favourite, in which the revolutionary use of rollers meant that mighty blocks of stone could be moved by ordinary workers without undue cost. The entirety of Britain’s walking unemployed are to be given the mandatory opportunity to gain valuable work experience through unpaid ‘apprenticeships’ pulling ropes, while the stubborn disabled whom even ATOS are unable to make stand up are to provide valuable service as the rollers.