Tag Archives: Art

Obsessive-compulsive buys Tracey Emin’s bed

‘I had to tidy it at all costs’ claims buyer


Mattress ‘should be turnered over weekly’

‘My Bed’, a stinking pit vacated by Tracey Emin, has been sold to someone who can finally give it a good home.

Harold resident Elsie Duggan remortgaged her and several of her friends’ houses to finance the deal. She told us that she ‘couldn’t wait to sort (the installation) out’, and that it would be ‘nice to have somewhere for (her son) to stay over.’

‘I may not know much about art, but I know what I like’, said Mrs Duggan. ‘And that’s hospital corners, an ironed divan sheet and the pillow case openings facing away from the door.’

Mrs Duggan first saw Emin’s work in 1999, and has had a strong urge to tackle it with a bottle of Fabreze and a bin bag ever since.
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Damien Hirst planning application tipped for Turner prize


“A fool and his money divided”

Artist Damien Hirst’s plan to build hundreds of houses in the north Devon countryside has been described as his most ‘breathtakingly bold’ and ‘shocking’ artistic statement since 1991’s famous ‘Rotten Shark in Brine’ piece.

In a work entitled “The Physical Impossibility of an Overdraft in the Bank Account of Hirst”, the artist has submitted a planning application to North Devon council for 750 homes, a school, shops, health centre, cycle path and a giant erect penis the size of a jumbo jet on the edge of the seaside town of Ilfracombe.

Much of the art world has praised the plans, with Tate Gallery Director Nicholas Serota insisting that the thousand buildings will blend into the countryside with all the subtlety you would expect from the man who put a 66 foot bronze statue of a pregnant woman holding a sword on the town’s seafront.

“It’s a powerful, breathtaking statement,” explained Serota, “Which makes you examine the very nature of town planning and countryside protection, and raises many questions, not least ‘Where the hell did all those fields go?'”

Not all critical opinion has been positive, however, with the whiff of plagiarism once again raising its ugly head. The Guardian’s art critic Adrian Searle has pointed out that Hirst’s plans bear more than a passing similarity to Tracy Emin’s recent work “Application for Kitchen Extension with Patio Doors”, which itself is said to heavily reference Andy Warhol’s famous “Milton Keynes” installation.

Reaction in the media has also been largely negative. The Evening Standard art critic, Brian Sewell, said simply, “I don’t think of it as art. There are countless young builders who do not get considered for the Turner prize; one thinks of Barratt Homes, one thinks of Bovis, and yet they are overlooked, purely because none of their houses are made from cows sliced in half. When will the art world learn?”

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Lowry painting ‘Sad factory worker (with giant cock and balls)’ may be clever forgery, experts warn


Subtle erotic undertones

Several previously unseen paintings by LS Lowry are to go on show this month, including many with unusually frank erotic undertones.

The paintings were discovered in a Manchester grammar school where they had been hanging undisturbed for many years, and include many lost masterpieces such as “Sad factory worker (with giant cock and balls)”.

Expert Michael Simpson from the Lowry gallery in Salford said: “These exciting works provide a unique insight into the hidden depths of Lowry’s character. Some people may be surprised that the artist would tackle this unusually explicit subject matter, but I have no doubt that this is 100% Lowry. There’s not a million miles between towering factory chimneys and erect phalluses, at least not in my book. And it is wonderful to see the artist mixing blue ballpoint pen with his more traditional watercolours, as seen to great effect in “Lady on the Accrington Tram (has massive boobies)” – breathtaking penmanship there.”
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