Druids ‘cautiously interested’ in new Stonehenge airport plan


Left a bit!

After initial fierce opposition, England’s druids are reported to be ‘coming round’ to controversial new plans to build London’s fourth airport within a few metres of the ancient monument of Stonehenge.

After the recent closure of the nearby main road, hopes were high that the sacred area would at last be returned to its ancient glory. These hopes were cruelly dashed by the immediate announcement that the space formerly taken by the road would actually be dedicated to a 5km concrete runway, long enough to service the largest long-haul airliners and significantly ease the congestion of London’s other airports.

“At first, we were bummed, there’s no other word for it,” admitted Arthur Pendragon, druid leader and true descendent of the Once and Future King. “But then someone pointed out that the travelling time to Majorca would go down from six months to an hour and a half, and we started to see the possibilities here.”

Spurred by the vision of cheap flights and budget holidays, the most holy council of English druids took even the authorities by surprise in their haste to embrace the idea.

“It was actually me who came up with the idea of using the ancient stones themselves as the basis for a themed terminal,” confessed Mr Pendragon, “And I’ve got to say it’s a winner. There’s the Departure gate over there – that big stone on top of the two other ones, looks a bit like a gate. And there’s the Arrivals gate, same story. The bit in the middle’s the Duty Free. Lovely Jubbly.”

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