Tag Archives: cod

Cod stocks ‘recovering’ claim marine experts


Sod this for a game of soldiers.

Harold village’s famous medieval “Cod Stocks”, which have been used for centuries to shame unruly fish, are well on the road to recovery after years of decline, fish experts have revealed. The stocks were introduced to the village by local landowner Harold du Boeuf on his return from the ninth crusade against Iceland in 1598, and were used to punish deviant mackerel until the great influx of refugee cod from the Spanish Inquisition changed the local marine ecology forever.
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Filed under Around Harold, Crime

Chip shop in fish swap for flip-flops

fishflop1The villagers of Harold have reacted angrily to news that their local chippy has been fobbing them off with batter-encrusted flip-flops.

Until the scandal, ‘The Stephen Fryer’ had been held in high regard locally, for its cleverly evasive word-play on the Perspex menu board.

“Everyone knows you don’t really want to know what you’re getting, if you order a saveloy or the ‘southern-fried bites’”, said Cllr Ron Ronsson.

“And it’s common knowledge that you should never just order the ‘fish’, because that’s battered paper towels that Stephen wipes the wobbly bits from his hands on.”

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Filed under Around Harold, Lifestyle, News