Author Archives: Max C-F

Let he who has never dressed up as badger, messed around with some fake weapons and then gone into the woods and boned a complete stranger cast the first stone.

There was chaos in Harold woods last night when DEFRA licensed badger cullers stumbled across a furry convention. The cullers had been engaged in the old country art of lamping (using lights to detect badgers eye shine and then shooting them) when they ran into a different kind of target.

“We were following a trail and then suddenly through the darkness I saw this massive badger, must’ve been six foot at least,” said Phil Evans, local farmer and badger culler. “And I thought ‘bugger me it’s a good job they’re culling the stripy sods if there’s giant mutant ones knocking about.’ It was only after I’d let off a couple of shots that it occurred to me that badgers don’t usually carry swords and scream ‘please no, oh my God put the gun down’ before you shoots ’em.” Continue reading →