As US endurance swimmer Diana Nyad yesterday became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida non-stop and without the protection of a shark cage it has emerged that Prince Charles is encouraging his mother to make her own attempt at the epic 103 mile swim.
“Diana Nyad is a shining example of never being too old to chase your dreams,” said the Prince. “At sixty-four years old she has shown herself to be a remarkable athlete who has achieved something truly incredible. So I was thinking that Mater ought to pop down to Havana and give it a go.”
On being told that the waters of the Florida Straits are not only shark but also box jellyfish infested as well as containing treacherous currents and being prone to devastating storms the Prince merely giggled before pulling himself together to soberly comment:
“I’m aware of the hostile conditions and I’ll certainly get someone to keep an eye out as my mother battles through the waves. I’m sure Pater would love to do it. We’ll give him a row boat and a twelve-bore and he’ll be as happy as you like. And with any luck neither of them will come back. What? No I didn’t. I said with any luck neither of them will hear a crack. Crack of thunder I mean. Very stormy place Cuba.”
“The whole world’s saying how amazing Diana Nyad is but I’m also sixty-four and I’ve had a dream for decades too and yet for some reason when I say I won’t give up on it everyone gets cross and more than a bit worried. It isn’t fair.”
Buckingham Palace insiders later commented that this is the most upset that Prince Charles has been for some time and that the last occasion he was this agitated was when he was told that during the opening ceremony of London 2012 it wasn’t actually going to be his mother doing the parachute jump.