Tag Archives: Euro 2016

Final list of scapegoats for England’s Euro 2016 failure announced

hodgson

Hodgson has been practicing this expression for after every match

Roy Hodgson has confirmed the squad of players with whom he will share the blame for another crushing defeat at the national game.

As expected, Wayne Rooney remains as Captain and role model for the younger players “I was an exciting prospect myself ten years ago” said Mr Potato Head “but I learned to cut out the clever stuff and play the traditional England way.” He says the squad have watched Rugby Union videos to help embed the principles of passing backwards. Continue reading

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UK: a small island that no one listens to pulls out of Eurovision Song Contest

Britain in decline? Why can we no longer compete with this level of Euro genius?

UK in decline? Why can we no longer compete with this level of Euro genius?

Following on from resolving not to take military action against President Assad’s regime in Syria at this time and being dismissed as a small island that no one listens to by one of Vladimir Putin’s spokesmen, the UK has taken its first official step towards a reduced role on the world stage by pulling out of the Eurovision Song Contest.

“Europe is very, very far away,” said Spencer Chadwick, Tory MP for Harold and one of the leaders of the ‘No Euro’ campaign. “If some countries whose culture remains to most ordinary Britons unfathomable and whose lands remain unvisited such as, er, Ireland and France want to prance around letting off glitter cannons, singing formulaic pap and acting the giddy goat then that’s their business and not ours.” Continue reading

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