Category Archives: 1966

Final list of scapegoats for England’s Euro 2016 failure announced

hodgson

Hodgson has been practicing this expression for after every match

Roy Hodgson has confirmed the squad of players with whom he will share the blame for another crushing defeat at the national game.

As expected, Wayne Rooney remains as Captain and role model for the younger players “I was an exciting prospect myself ten years ago” said Mr Potato Head “but I learned to cut out the clever stuff and play the traditional England way.” He says the squad have watched Rugby Union videos to help embed the principles of passing backwards. Continue reading

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Glorifying England’s 1966 World Cup win will become illegal from next year

BobbyMoore2

Make the most of it – sharing this will be illegal after December

Amendments to the UK’s Hate Crime and Terrorism laws mean any mention of the 1966 World Cup will be illegal after 31st December 2016.

“The number of survivors from English football’s solitary success is dwindling and the rest of us are sick to the back teeth of it all.” said whoever is now the Minister of Culture Media and Sports” In fact, we actually hate it, which is how we’re able to ban it under Hate Crime law.”

” This weekend’s anniversary will be awful, with Bobby Moore shirts up to your arm pits and endless re-runs of the final. Like watching The Sound of Music. On a continuous loop. They think it’s all over? It bloody well will be, after New Year’s eve.”.

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England fans despair as team vows ‘we’ll meet all expectations’

despondency

“And then, after the penalties, I usually slump my shoulders like this”

At a press briefing at Luton Airport on Sunday, Roy Hodgson confirmed younger England players are being taken to the World Cup primarily to get used to losing.

”Some have lost with their clubs at home and at European level: now they must do so on the World stage if they want to earn a long-term England place.”

Sadly, others are still hungry for success “You can see it in their eyes: they positively radiate passion, belief and hope. And it’s my job, together with Stevie [team captain, Gerrard], to snuff that out.” Continue reading

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