Tag Archives: Islam

Richard Dawkins’ bullying of Ahmed Mohamed dismissed as cry for attention

The Sunday Times Oxford Literary Festival - Day 2

Does he simply not know what he’s saying due to the culture he was raised in?

Eminent scientist turned huffy, proselytizing sideshow, Richard Dawkins, has had his motives for taking to Twitter to heap shit on a fourteen year old boy questioned, with many believing that he knew exactly what he was doing and that it was a pre-meditated attack carried out purely for attention.

“Assembling a Twitter rant is fine. Making it look like it was done as part of some great crusade for truth and isn’t a famous 74 year old man picking on a boy is not fine. Which is true?” said the first villager we found in the Squirrel Lickers, Phil Evans. Continue reading

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Isis leader says end goal is a Caliphate of one

lego-terrorist

We don’t know who created this Lego Islamic extremist but our hat is off to them

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, leader of Isis, has said that his end goal is a global Caliphate consisting of himself.

“Once I’ve excluded/killed women, everyone who’s LGBT, Jews, non-believers, anyone who looks at me funny, Jews again just to make sure, and all those who refuse to acknowledge that Christopher Eccelstone was the best Doctor Who there aren’t many people left,” he said in a statement released today. Continue reading

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Eric Pickles writes to Katie Hopkins’ family calling on them to help combat extremism

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Should this wide-eyed fanatic be tolerated?

Eric Pickles has made a personal written plea to individual members of the Hopkins family asking them to stand with the rest of the UK in defeating hatred while one member of their clan continues to run amok.

“We know that acts of headline grabbing and offence are not representative of the Hopkins family,” he wrote. “But we need to show what is.” Continue reading

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Frosty reception for Saudi snowmen.

Saudi cleric Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid has issued a ban on the building of snowmen in the north of the country following the appearance overnight of a 3 foot tall icy effigy of the Prophet Mohammed.


In a statement the cleric declared that to m
ake statues in the form of any human was sinful, but to make one that looks a bit like how they imagine someone who lived 1400 odd years ago but of whom, not surprisingly, no pictures exist in a medium that doesn’t really lend itself to accurate depictions of facial features; particularly eye colour, skin tone and general beard scraggliness; was not only highly blasphemous, but also quite silly.

Snowhere to hide

Photo for satirical purposes only. Any resemblance to religious figures living or dead is purely coincidental.



Saudi riot police were despatched to the area where they set about smashing up, shooting and beheading all the offending snow demons and arresting groups of small children armed with an array of deadly bobble hats, scarves and woolly mittens.

Police eventually managed to restore order by arresting the ringleader, a jolly happy soul with a corn cob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal following a brief shootout at the offices of a French Santarist magazine.

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Filed under Badgers, Christmas, ice, Law and Order, Police, Religion, Uncategorized, War, Weather

Prove you’re on our side: council tells Muslims to wear giant poppies instead of clothes

PANews+BT_cacfb8bb-9767-4075-b66d-459d494c03c6_I1Muslims in Harold and Dunstable are feeling the cold having been ordered by the local council to forgo clothes and instead wear giant poppies.

“It’s time we knew whose side they’re on,” said Councillor Ron Ronsson. “Muslims wearing poppies, and only poppies, is no more than the brave men and women of Her Majesty’s armed forces deserve. Anyone refusing to comply is letting Isis win.” Continue reading

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Local Christians criticized for holding church fete during Ramadan

Radicalised youngsters unable to resist temptation

Radicalised youngsters unable to resist temptation

A local parish church has been slammed for a ‘blatant attack’ on Islam after deciding to hold their annual fete during the month of Ramadan.

Professor Luke Thorne, chair of the Easily Offended on Behalf of Others Society said “I was astounded when I was told Harold parish church was holding their fete, complete with a barbeque and cake stall, during a period of religious observance when the consumption of food is not permitted during the hours of daylight.” Continue reading

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Far-right group calls for points of compass to be renamed to ‘confuse Muslamics’

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Look at them, threatening UK society with their friendship and truly amazing eyebrows, will no one think of the children?

An offshoot of the BNP called Prime Britain is campaigning to have the points of the compass renamed in the belief that this will mean devout Muslims won’t know where Mecca is when they come to pray.

“We’re taking a stand for all decent British people whose way of life is under threat,” said Prime Britain leader Kev Gadsby. “This is a Christian country and Muslamics have no right to be facing another country or town or whatever like it’s better or something.” Continue reading

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Millions are exposed to Daily Mail without knowing it: the shocking truth about unlabelled rubbish

Copies-of-British-newspap-007

Hiding in plain sight. When will the Daily Mail be correctly labelled as poisonous bobbins?

Newsagents and websites are exposing millions of readers to the Daily Mail without telling them. By not explicitly labelling content from the Daily Mail as reactionary gubbins the end product is read by bigots and non-bigots alike. Continue reading

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Entire village adopts niqab and declares it to be lovely

niqab

Teenage lads lurking on the recreation ground: much less scary than when in hoodies and baseball caps.

Under ancient village law a proposal to ban wearing the niqab within the boundaries of Harold resulted in everyone wearing one.

“A couple recently moved to the village and in a first for this community she wears the niqab,” explained Councillor Nina O’Neill. “Unfortunately someone made a complaint to the council so we invoked Suck it and See a fourteenth century bylaw that states that for a week villagers have to engage in the activity being complained about in order to create an informed opinion.” Continue reading

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Local Imam appeals for tolerance towards ordinary atheists after latest Dawkins outrage

Richard Dawkins: stupid in that way only very, very clever people are.

Dawkins: can’t outrage quicker than a quick tweet on Twitter

Local Iman, Qaasim Mohammed of Dunstable Central Mosque has appealed for tolerance towards ordinary atheists and asked people to remain calm in the face of the latest Twitter controversy from militant atheist Professor Richard Dawkins.

“On the first day of Eid, Richard Dawkins tweeted ‘All the world’s Muslims have fewer Nobel Prizes than Trinity College, Cambridge. They did great things in the Middle Ages, though.’ which is offensive in terms of timing and content but people need to remember that extremists like Dawkins while very vocal are a small minority and do not represent atheism as a whole.” Continue reading

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BBC announce Doctor Who Ramadan special

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Nothing is more British than this

The BBC announced today that it is to broadcast a special episode of family favourite Doctor Who to coincide with start of Ramadan on 9th July. The exact details of the plot remain a closely guarded secret but it is understood that the Doctor will make a new acquaintance and share the meal that breaks their daily fast – iftar – with them and their family.

“There have been and always will be Christmas specials of Doctor Who,” said Paul Regan, a spokesperson for the show. “But as someone who travels throughout space and time the Doctor has of course witnessed many different religious festivals so this year we are showing him getting involved in one as well as reflecting a part of the hugely diverse Doctor Who audience.” Continue reading

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Man joins English Defence League: disappointed by spelling

Makes "you're teeth", itch. Do'nt it?

Makes “you’re teeth”, itch. Do’nt it?

Harold man, Col. Thomas Hallet, today spoke of his disappointment on joining the English Defence League and discovering that the promotion and preservation of the correct use of the English language was the last thing on their minds.

“I happened to be in Dunstable last week and I popped into a pub I’d never been in before which turned out to be rather insalubrious but I thought I’d have a quick pint while I waited for my good lady wife to finish buying whatever women’s things she feels it necessary to procure from the town.” Continue reading

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