Tag Archives: halal

Cruelty claims at halal vets

halal pup

Customers ‘left stunned’ – unlike the animals.

A veterinary surgery that claims to follow halal practices has drawn protests in the village of Harold.

Following guidelines for animal welfare dictated by an angel some 1,400 years ago, the Jamuh Haariat practice treats a range of ailments using only a sharp knife.

“While we could use an anaesthetic, that isn’t specifically mentioned in the Quran”, explained Dr Haariat. “That either means they weren’t invented then, or more likely, Allah forbids them.”
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How do you like your steak done? Supermarkets label meat with choice of murders


This sheep was stunned shortly before it was humanely run over.

In response to the uproar surrounding unmarked Halal meat, supermarkets have pledged to offer consumers much more choice in the way animals are killed.

Sifting through the meat aisle of her local Tesco, Harold resident Pippa Delaney welcomed the move.

“It’s so much better, now we’re properly and sometimes graphically informed”, she insisted. “Let’s see: cricket bat with a nail in it…bolt gun in the face…liver failure…ooh! This one sounds delicious AND guilt-free: ‘hit by a meteorite’. I bet that makes it tender as well.”

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‘Daily Mail, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of being a dick’ report says

More harmful than smoking #FACT

Many of us are being exposed to the Daily Mail unawares a report published today confirms. By not explicitly labelling content from the Daily Mail as reactionary bobbins people are exposed to a harmful cocktail of misogyny, xenophobia and many other shabby things ending in -ist, -ia and -ic.  Continue reading

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