Casting aside his opponent’s offer of a role as party president, Mr Corbyn has told Owen Smith that when, sorry if, he is re-elected as party leader, his erstwhile challenger will be given a new honourary position of his own; that of dominated rubber clad party bitch. Continue reading
Tag Archives: leadership
Labour hopeful Jeremy Corbyn will push women into the sea in wheeled sheds, if elected.
The surprise announcement was made by Corbyn, who has pledged to reintroduce a number of similar initiatives abandoned by history.
“From coal mines and women-only carriages, to rickets and dinosaurs, I think we can all agree that the past was a better place”, said Corbyn.
Bathing machines were used by the Victorians, so that women could swim in the sea without men being offended by their calves.
Corbyn believes that rather than condemning the practice of ankle ogling, it would be less confrontational to set women adrift.
About 1,200 people have been banned from voting in Labour’s leadership election because they might vote for the wrong person.
The competence of the Labour Party has been questioned once again after it was announced that leadership hopefuls, Liz Kendall, Yvette Cooper and Andy Burnham had all withdrawn from the contest in favour of Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper and Liz Kendall.
Driven by a combined fear that Jeremy Corbyn might have an outside chance of becoming the next Labour leader if someone didn’t step down from the contest, each of the prospective leaders fell upon their swords leaving the grizzled leftie a shoo-in for the leadership.
“It’s even worse than the Miliband debacle,” said one veteran Labour activist. “They’ve all pulled out and in seconds have collectively set the Party back by thirty five years without a single bacon roll in sight.” Continue reading
Aides close to Ed Miliband have depicted him as a broken man desperately believing that his beloved Party will call him and reject his resignation as Leader following last week’s General Election.
“People don’t realise the sacrifices Ed has gone through for the cause,” said close confidant, Cath Drucker.
“The poor man is still combing nits out of his hair after that interview with Russell Brand, Continue reading
Guy Martin is set to become the next Labour leader, if a bookies in Harold is to be believed.
Pulling ahead of Jodie Kidd and that shouty policeman from Life on Mars, Martin is odds-on favourite in the race to the red flag.
“What’s that chief?”, asked the adrenalin junkie, “leader of the pack? That’s not really my scene, I’m more of a racer than a moderate or a rocker.”
Yvette Cooper and Andy Burnham have strenuously denied having a meeting to discuss plans to make Labour win the next election.
The meeting between the two was to discuss the possibility of Ed Miliband launching his best policy to date, his resignation.