Jeremy Corbyn pledges to reintroduce bathing machines

bathing machine

Like a closed shop, but before the wheels came off.

Labour hopeful Jeremy Corbyn will push women into the sea in wheeled sheds, if elected.

The surprise announcement was made by Corbyn, who has pledged to reintroduce a number of similar initiatives abandoned by history.

“From coal mines and women-only carriages, to rickets and dinosaurs, I think we can all agree that the past was a better place”, said Corbyn.

Bathing machines were used by the Victorians, so that women could swim in the sea without men being offended by their calves.

Corbyn believes that rather than condemning the practice of ankle ogling, it would be less confrontational to set women adrift.

“When I first proposed renationalising everything and taking the UK back to the 1970s, I saw a sharp rise in my popularity”, revealed Corbyn.

“So why stop there? Lets go back to the 1870s”, he declared. “Women didn’t have the vote then, of course.”

“Which I presume is why they’ve taken 60,000 people off the leadership ballot.”

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