Author Archives: charlieshat

The Evening Harold has gained access to the first draft of the Prime Minister’s Article 50-triggering ‘Dear Jean’ letter, reproduced here as a world exclusive.

Dear Jean,
There is no easy way to say this, but it’s time we split up and went our separate ways.
It’s not you, it’s 52% of me.

I need some time on my own without the worries of ongoing strained relationships with close union countries.

I’d like to remain friends if we can, even better if we could be “friends with benefits” maybe get together regularly in the next few years in order to fuck each other over?

Remember, there are plenty more fish in the sea (as long as you have the correct territorial and correctly ratified multi border EU council fisheries agreement, and you must throw back half of the ones you catch anyway).

Yours as ever in splendid isolation,

• Theresa