Category Archives: Politics

Radio 1 defend the right to play Justin Bieber

Warning; This boy may harm you and others around you.

Warning; This boy may harm you and others around you.

BBC Radio 1 have today had to deny claims they are being cruel and insensitive, and refused to back down from a decision to play the music of Justin Bieber. The move comes as people who remember the 1980’s and early 1990’s mourn the death of decent music.

The BBC in defending their position have told us they ‘have a duty to play the music people are buying, even if those people are under the age of 16 and have no idea what they are talking about.’

However, not everyone has been critical of the BBC. Sally Moody from the ‘OMG Justin Bieber, We Love You’ fan club told us “the BBC should play Justin all day ‘cos he is lush. Continue reading

Comments Off on Radio 1 defend the right to play Justin Bieber

Filed under Crime, Lifestyle, News, Politics

Village split over Holy Jesus ‘space rock’

Fingers where added at a later date

Fingers were added at a later date

A debate between religious leaders and scientists has broken out today over the validity over a piece of space rock that appears to show the face of Jesus. Henry Slater, a leading scientist from the village, has been studying the rock closely over the past two weeks.

“The specimen is believed to have come from the ‘Terra Viam Horti’ part of the Milky Way and has hurtled millions of light years across the galaxy to land in Harold (near Dunstable), but to have travelled all that way to earth could only be down to some divine intervention” Mr Slater explained.

Read more here…

Comments Off on Village split over Holy Jesus ‘space rock’

Filed under Around Harold, News, Politics, science

Overdrawn villager returns porcelain pig to bank

cashpig

Cold heartless banker

Pensioner Doris Kettle has taken steps to apologise for the mismanagement of her account, by returning a porcelain pig to the local branch of her NatWest.

Along with a third of a wobbly wall chart, Kettle hopes the gesture will be seen as a token of her remorse, as well as a full and final settlement, which she’ll hear no more about.
Continue reading

Comments Off on Overdrawn villager returns porcelain pig to bank

Filed under News, Politics

Death of The Ironing Lady at the age of 87

thatcher
Teresa Macster, known locally as the Ironing Lady, has died at the age of 87.

With her trademark handbag and ironing board, Teresa was one of the great characters of the village combining her bustling ironing business with the arduous role of Mayoress of Harold, the first woman to be elected in this position.

In her heyday, Teresa was a formidable leader, applying the same criteria to council officials as she did to laundry by separating them into “Wets” or “Drys”.
Continue reading

Comments Off on Death of The Ironing Lady at the age of 87

Filed under News, Politics

Town twinning committee seeks new members as tragic incident depletes numbers

Road baghdadHarold’s town twinning committee is looking to recruit 3 new members after their latest overseas visit ended in tragedy.

The group of Harold town councillors and local dignitaries had been returning to Damascus from a highly successful community relation enhancement exercise in Aleppo when their bus was hit by a rocket propelled grenade, believed to have been fired by forces loyal to President Bashar-al-Assad. This latest incident brings the town twinning committee’s death toll to twelve. Continue reading

Comments Off on Town twinning committee seeks new members as tragic incident depletes numbers

Filed under Around Harold, Crime, News, Politics, Uncategorized

Villagers alarmed by Labour’s silence create their own Opposition

The wax-Miliband on the high street appears to be about to speak but would anyone remember what it said?

The wax-Miliband on the high street appears to be about to speak but would anyone remember what it said?

Concerned villagers in Harold have erected wax and cardboard images of Ed Miliband to try and create a sense that the UK does have an active Opposition.

‘It’s all IDS this, Osborne that, and Cameron everywhere you look,’ complained Julie Kettle as she tried to clean the cardboard-Miliband outside The Squirrel Licker’s Arms. ‘Where’s the Leader of the Opposition? It’s scary. I feel like we’re living in a one party-state and it’s a crap party without any crisps or jelly. So we’re putting Milibands around the village to make it seem like he’s actually doing something and engaging with real people.’ Continue reading

Comments Off on Villagers alarmed by Labour’s silence create their own Opposition

Filed under Around Harold, Politics

Released Huhne doesn’t think ‘new image’ will prevent a return to public life

huhne release

Problem?

If you like it, we’d love you to share it.

Comments Off on Released Huhne doesn’t think ‘new image’ will prevent a return to public life

by | February 1, 2013 · 12:15 am