The young Queen in more innocent times, enjoying a nazi salute with ‘Uncle Rupert’
Buckingham Palace has been forced to defend the Queen after it emerged that pictures of Her Majesty had been published in The Sun newspaper, owned by the evil tyrant Rupert Murdoch.
Members of the public were shocked today to find out that Queen Elizabeth had appeared in the reviled pages of the detested publication, forcing palace officials to hastily issue a statement insisting that the appearance of the photograph was an innocent event which had been blown out of all proportion.
“The photograph was taken a long time ago,” claimed a spokesperson, “When many people just didn’t realise how evil The Sun really was. Being a naive 89-year-old, the Queen simply didn’t understand what it meant to be linked to Rupert Murdoch, and we would like to assure everyone that she is not, and has never been, a grubby far-right bucket of sleaze. There are plenty of other people in the royal family to take care of all that.” Continue reading
Filed under Media, Royals
Following his tweet suggesting all Muslims must be held responsible for jihadists, the world has responded saying Rupert Murdoch should be held responsible for Rupert Murdoch.
“An ancient ideology, with extremist views that are not comparable with a modern progressive society”, is how one commentator described Mr Murdoch.
Filed under News, Politics
The opening skirmish of Operation “Cock and Awe”…
Following yesterday’s courtroom revelation that Tony Blair advised Rebekah Brooks on how to tackle her phone hacking problem, the nation is breathlessly asking itself today whether that is the only tackle he helped her with.
Blair is believed by many to have been steadily working his way through the sexual conquest of the entire female staff of News Corporation, from the highest Chief Executive’s wife down to the lowliest News of the World editor. Wendi Deng, the former wife of Rupert Murdoch, allegedly developed a passionate obsession with him, and fiery redhead Brooks may just have been the latest woman to need urgent help with her briefs. Continue reading
This week in our round-up of online dating profiles we’re looking beyond the borders of Harold and at the profile of an elderly gentlemen whose divorce was only finalised yesterday.
Good luck Rupert, we salute your eagerness to get back in the mix.
Name: Keith Rupert Murdoch. Likes to be known as Rupert and has a net worth of £8.3bn.
Star Sign: £8.3bn
Would like to meet: Quiet sheilah aged 20-30 with massive norks who sees a bloke for what he is and isn’t impressed by money.
Who could resist that face?
The News International phone-hacking trial took a romantic turn yesterday when Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson admitted that they’d both had a six year affair with Rupert Murdoch. Side-by-side in the dock Brooks, former editor of The Sun and Coulson who was her deputy before going on to edit the News of the World, became emotional as they recounted their heady days of love with the octogenarian inspiration for Darth Sidious. Continue reading
Is that a WMD in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
In the aftermath of the break up of his marriage to Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch announced that he will invade Tony Blair to search for weapons of marriage destruction (“WMDs”). Apparently Murdoch believes Blair possesses a long missile-shaped weapon that can fire a clear sticky substance as far as a foot.
A spokesman for Mr Murdoch said similar weapons have already been deployed around the world to break up marriages for many years, and they can be deadly from close range.
“We believe Blair is concealing a WMD in his pants” said the Murdoch spokesman. “And we have information that Blair has been conducting secret solo trials of his weapon for many years.”