Do I look like a ‘respected columnist?’
Hopkins, who hates everyone, said ‘respected columnist’ made it sound like she writes for the Times, or worse still, the Guardian.
“I don’t ‘write’, I spit out bile into a receptacle known as the Daily Mail”, frothed Hopkins.
Continue reading
Next, they came for the horses…
In his most embarrassing proclamation yet, celebrity simpleton Donald Trump has announced that if he becomes President, all Native Americans will be immediately barred from entering the USA.
Coming hot on the heels of his other statement about banning all Muslims, Trump now seems to have lost his last tenuous grip on reality.
“If these so-called ‘indians’ or whatever they call themselves try to enter our great country, we will send them back to where they came from immediately,” spluttered the furry one, “Wherever that is.”
Comments Off on Trump ‘will ban Native Americans from entering USA’
Filed under idiots, International News, Showbusiness
“Look, there’s one now!”
Following the news that Donald Trump has suggested forcing American Muslims to wear special badges, leading Muslims have called for assholes everywhere to be made to wear ridiculous comb-over-style wigs, so they can be avoided at a distance.
Trump told reporters at his campaign bunker this morning he had originally believed that people’s skin colour could be used as a handy warning of imminent terrorism, before coming up with the excellent but uneasily-familiar idea of registration and badging.
In response, a spokesman for Muslim Action Network, a leading US charity, suggested that the real problem might be avoiding assholes, not Muslims, and pointed out that seeing as Trump is already leading the way, a laughably piss-poor hairpiece might be an excellent way to spot those a-holes a-coming. Continue reading
Comments Off on US Muslims call for assholes to wear wigs
Filed under News
Following his tweet suggesting all Muslims must be held responsible for jihadists, the world has responded saying Rupert Murdoch should be held responsible for Rupert Murdoch.
“An ancient ideology, with extremist views that are not comparable with a modern progressive society”, is how one commentator described Mr Murdoch.
Continue reading
‘Irony’ is when mum presses my t-shirt
“Them Muslims should be banned from wearing veils – they shouldn’t be allowed to hide their faces” said Gavin, an EDL supporter who wouldn’t give his last name.
“Muslims go home – England for the Polish” shouted Jerzey “Smith”, a carpenter from Essex.
Other EDL members just tried to stare threateningly but soon gave up when local children mistook them for clowns.
Continue reading
Comments Off on Balaclava-clad English Defence League supporters protest against veils
Filed under Around Harold, Law and Order, News
You must be logged in to post a comment.