Tag Archives: poverty

Poverty to be limited to the poor, pledges Osborne.

Mwahaha, Mwahahahahaha. Ahahaha.

Mwahaha, Mwahahahahaha. Ahahaha.

George Osborne has pledged to eradicate all money problems for poor people after the next election by doing away with all money for poor people. Continue reading

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Filed under Badgers, breaking news, charity, Election 2015, Election 2015, Health, Housing, Lifestyle, Medicine, Politics, Society, Troubled Families, Uncategorized

Tesco takes on Aldi by monetizing food banks

foodbank express

Very little help.

In an effort to win back market share from budget brand shops, Tesco are taking on Aldi by buying up a range of charity food banks.

With Sainsburys relaunching Netto, Tesco are keen to compete in the shame end of the market. “We’re talking abject humiliation here, not the mild embarrassment of our long-standing ‘Value’ range.”

“We thought of bringing back Happy Shopper, I certainly remember being bullied for having their crisps in my school lunch box”, said Tesco director Alan Soylent. “But our research shows that ‘food banks’ are currently dominating the downtrodden sector. Shame is very marketable at the moment.”

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Jamie Oliver tells poor to shun cheesy chips and eat their nutritious babies instead

Another white, male, multi-millionaire Tory telling people how to live - just what this country needs

Another white, male, multi-millionaire Tory telling people how to live – just what Britain needs

In his latest interview as he plugs his new TV show, multimillionaire Jamie Oliver has spoken of his despair at the eating habits of the poor.

“I’ve spent a lot of time in poor communities,” he said. “And I find it quite hard to talk about modern-day poverty. You might remember that scene in Ministry of Food with the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers and behind them is a massive fucking TV. It just didn’t weigh up.” Continue reading

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Filed under Lifestyle, News, Showbusiness