Hunt: ‘swift action required’ to maximise potential of holiday let market
With winter fast approaching, Public Health England has published its Cold Weather Plan for people who have forgotten what a winter is or are too poor to do anything about it.
There are on average 24,000 excess winter deaths, many of which might be worth preventing. It’s a situation which Health Secretary Jeremy ‘Hunt’ described as ‘completely unacceptable’, ‘someone else’s fault’ and ‘a welcome boost to the housing market’.
The Plan aims to alert people to the surprising fact that cold weather in England is, on the whole, not very warm and as in previous years the Met Office will trigger cold weather alerts at five levels:
There has been chaos on the High Street following a serious collision involving three people on the northbound pavement. The accident left the pavement closed for 3 hours.
Police were called to the collision at around 9.43am outside the charity shop. Eyewitnesses say it was caused by local resident, 86-year-old Elsie Duggan, stopping suddenly for no apparent reason.
Although we understand there are no fatalities, two have been taken to hospital for what are described as “minor injuries” and another was treated at the scene by a passing first aider.
Allotment take-up is a grave business
Harold’s once-proud allotment plots are getting a long-overdue facelift, thanks to the astonishing average age of their owners.
For years, the village allotments have been a draw for the elderly, who pretend to grow potatoes while drinking gin in their sheds.
But with vegetables now widely available in shops, few youngsters see the point in subsistence farming.
Not as daft as she looks?
An elderly lady has been charged with wasting police time after she apparently became disorientated on a routine shopping trip.
Police were called out after Elsie Duggan, 86, became lost on her way back from a visit to the Tesco Express after appearing confused at the checkout. After a search, she was found sitting on a bench near the war memorial.
“It is true that we have charged an elderly woman with wasting police time,” said PC Anita Flegg defending police actions. “Were supposed to do exciting things like driving fast patrol cars and chasing international villains – not spend our time looking for lost cats or rescuing senile pensioners from trees. Do you know how much it costs to call out a police helicopter these days?”