An elderly lady has been charged with wasting police time after she apparently became disorientated on a routine shopping trip.
Police were called out after Elsie Duggan, 86, became lost on her way back from a visit to the Tesco Express after appearing confused at the checkout. After a search, she was found sitting on a bench near the war memorial.
“It is true that we have charged an elderly woman with wasting police time,” said PC Anita Flegg defending police actions. “Were supposed to do exciting things like driving fast patrol cars and chasing international villains – not spend our time looking for lost cats or rescuing senile pensioners from trees. Do you know how much it costs to call out a police helicopter these days?”
“The old lady in question is a frequent offender and something had to be done, so we’ve agreed to release the woman on bail with a caution provided that she agrees to have a tag fitted so she can be found if she wanders off again.”
Marjorie Houndstooth, manager of The Over-The-Hill Nursing Home, where Miss Duggan is the oldest and only resident, described the police reaction as excessive.
“The whole thing is ridiculous. Elsie was found only fifty yards away from the shop! Now the police are insisting that Elsie is fitted with a tag so they can find her more easily. They might as well have her fitted with a lead and collar and have done with it,” she said angrily.
“Anyway,” she added, “Elsie isn’t suffering from dementia; it’s a ploy she uses at the Tesco Express to try to get out of paying for her mints. Up until now she has been getting away with free sweets and a lift home from the police.”