Neanderthal man: hunter gathering no excuse for bad skin.
Just days after the revelation that neanderthals ate salad, archeologists have unearthed an ancient hemp bag full of male vanity products.
The shoulder bag features exquisite stitching on the shoulder strap and a pouch for some tweezers. The team think the items inside were used for daily rituals, and may give clues as to how our ancestors died out.
“These people obviously took male grooming seriously”, said researcher Karl Fronzt. “We found this in an area with a high density of discarded woolen swabs and an earthenware pot full of chlorine.”
“That points to a highly evolved society that wasn’t afraid to suffer for beauty. It’s clear to me that this area was used for anal bleaching.”
The government is recommending that we all eat 7 portions of fruit and veg a day. Are you consuming a sufficiently large volume of plant matter?
Q1: It is the middle of the night. You wake up feeling hungry. Do you:
a: Reach under the bed and whip out a ‘night banana’.
b: Pop downstairs and make a snack from an orange preserve and two slices of bread.
c: Tear the arm off a large Marine and eat it up in one gulp.
d: Transfer a portion of pulped grass from your first stomach to your second.
Oh God, not that!
Following reports of an internet-connected fridge being caught sending out spam emails, another fridge has been discovered taking advantage of its online capability by ordering takeaway pizza and watching pornography late into the night.
The device, an LG Chillmaster 4000, is one of the new generation of fridges which have access to the internet, although what this could be used for has not been clear until now.
Security firm Proofpoint were investigating a recent virus attack which has compromised media PCs and smart TV sets when they raided a private house in the UK village of Harold, expecting to find the hacker responsible. Instead, they burst in on the large silver fridge slumped in a corner of the kitchen, surrounded by empty beer bottles, doors akimbo and “acting in a threatening manner.” Continue reading
Allotment take-up is a grave business
Harold’s once-proud allotment plots are getting a long-overdue facelift, thanks to the astonishing average age of their owners.
For years, the village allotments have been a draw for the elderly, who pretend to grow potatoes while drinking gin in their sheds.
But with vegetables now widely available in shops, few youngsters see the point in subsistence farming.