Pooh – what’s that smell?
As staff at London’s Hunterian museum prepare to exhibit the skull of the original Pooh bear, other museums have begun trawling through their store rooms for similar grisly treasures.
Tag Archives: dead
Confusion as West mourns death of radical and brutal Muslim leader
Western leaders have confused the rest of the world by paying their deepest respects following the death of a radical Muslim leader.
Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz died in hospital after a short battle with modernisation, which he lost when he took a dose of human rights abuses.
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Filed under International News, News, Politics
North Korea reports Renee Zellweger looks different ‘because she’s dead’
Pyongyang suspected of photoshopping Zellweger’s obituary.
North Korea’s news agency is regretting using Google Translate, after it put Renee Zellweger’s new look down to her recent demise.
“I look like this because I’m finally at peace”, Zellweger told a Hollywood awards ceremony. Minutes later, a candle-lit vigil began in Pyongyang.
A spokesman for Kim Jong-un explained that the supreme leader felt an affinity with Zellweger. The dictator has also experienced rapid weight gain in his past, coupled with a powerful attraction to Hugh Grant that ultimately ended in rejection and recrimination.
“Zellweger will be best remembered for her voice work in Monsters V Aliens, a film about the oppression of the people by an evil US government”, said Jong-un in a statement from his recently no-longer-dead uncle. “Although over here, her character was of course voiced by someone else.”
“And just like Ms Zellweger, I also look like this because I’m dead”, said Jong-un’s statement. “You still love me, even though I’ve done a lot of cheese.”
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Filed under News, Social media
Tributes pour in for Harold’s ‘shark whisperer’
Ben doing what he (very, very briefly) loved.
People across the spectrum of animal training have acknowledged the tragic demise of Harold’s first ‘shark whisperer’.
Benjamin Evans always insisted that sharks were misunderstood, despite being giant, stupid fish full of razor-sharp teeth. Eschewing the shark cage in favour of speaking quite softly, Evans’ technique was radically different from the accepted norm.
Evans developed his technique after winning a goldfish in an online game of poker. As soon as it arrived, the expert felt drawn to the animal, and instinctively knew that it definitely spoke English.
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Filed under Around Harold, Nature
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