North Korea reports Renee Zellweger looks different ‘because she’s dead’

Pyongyang suspected of photoshopping Zellweger's obituary.

Pyongyang suspected of photoshopping Zellweger’s obituary.

North Korea’s news agency is regretting using Google Translate, after it put Renee Zellweger’s new look down to her recent demise.

“I look like this because I’m finally at peace”, Zellweger told a Hollywood awards ceremony. Minutes later, a candle-lit vigil began in Pyongyang.

A spokesman for Kim Jong-un explained that the supreme leader felt an affinity with Zellweger. The dictator has also experienced rapid weight gain in his past, coupled with a powerful attraction to Hugh Grant that ultimately ended in rejection and recrimination.

“Zellweger will be best remembered for her voice work in Monsters V Aliens, a film about the oppression of the people by an evil US government”, said Jong-un in a statement from his recently no-longer-dead uncle. “Although over here, her character was of course voiced by someone else.”

“And just like Ms Zellweger, I also look like this because I’m dead”, said Jong-un’s statement. “You still love me, even though I’ve done a lot of cheese.”


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