Even realistic woman-shaped crutches failed to sway the jury.
Oscar Pistorius has been hailed by the Equalities Commission for smashing the last taboo for disabled people.
After sort-of-standing trial for a crime typically associated with the able bodied, Pistorius has shown the world that the disadvantaged are just as capable of evil as the next man.
“This is a huge step forward in recognising that having a disability doesn’t exclude anyone for acting like a prick”, said commissioner Margaret Long. “You don’t have to have a full complement of limbs to shoot down a loved one in cold blood, and being differently abled no longer means cynically playing the victim card will definitely get you off. It may reduce the charge, but it won’t get you off.”
Before Pistorius stepped up to the mark and pretended to shoot a burglar, homicide had been considered by many to be the preserve of ‘normal’ people. “But the physically disabled can be mentals too, you don’t need toes to fire a gun”, revealed Long.
Filed under Crime, Society
Judge Masipa, the Judge delivering her verdict in the Oscar Pistorius murder trail has stated she may take two days to sum up the case and deliver the verdict, beating the current result delivery record held by The X-Factor’s Dermot O’Leary.
O’Leary has become well-known for dragging a result out for as long as possible for effect, often carrying it over two highly lucrative advertising breaks.
The National Rifle Association have said they are “upset and confused” by the verdict in the Oscar Pistorius trial that says he has “no mental illness”, so shot at his then girlfriend through his own free will.
“As we keep reminding you after every high-profile shooting, only those with serious underlying mental disorders use guns to shoot at other people,” an NRA spokesperson said.
Following on from the previous success of the OJ Simpson trial, and now the Oscar Pistorius murder trial, Sky have announced the next big ‘celebrity murdering partner’ court case will be pay-per-view.
“Of course it is sad that someone has to die in these cases, and if we could somehow have a murder trial without it then we would,” a Sky Box Office spokesman said.
“But that aside, there is money to be made. With added revenue from an armchair jury willing to pay £15 a week for the entertainment, we could get Ant and Dec to present it with expert analysis from law experts and previous defendants.” Continue reading
Fears were expressed for the mental health of athlete Oscar Pistorius, after he bounded into his trial kissed the guard on both cheeks and launched into an acceptance speech thanking “the producers, my parents and, of course, my wonderful girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, without who none of this would have been possible.”
Medical experts believe that Pistorius, the self-styled Blade Runner, may be suffering from a condition known as Oscar Fever which leaves victims believing they are starring in a movie and events of everyday real life are a screenplay they are acting out. It is a common affliction in places such as Hollywood. Continue reading