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Dermot O’Leary: ‘My Lego Man shame’


O’Leary: blandness can be hard to notice.

X-Factor presenter Dermot O’Leary has admitted he is entirely made from Lego.

Persistent rumours on social media have hinted that O’Leary doesn’t have working elbows, and is only capable of one expression.

But while the TV star revealed he was injection-moulded in a factory in Denmark, he insisted he is still ‘perfectly suited’ to hosting ITV’s top show.

“Everybody loves me because I’m so bland and unthreatening”, suggest O’Leary. “And I’m non-toxic, as well as reasonably poseable.”

“You can bend my little legs up and pop me on almost any vehicle you can think of, the only limit is your imagination”, he said. “But if you haven’t got an imagination, you can still put me on X-Factor. I’m perfect for it, because I make the acts and the judges seem more real.”

O’Leary told the press he has been secretly made from Lego for a number of years. At his lowest point, he found himself swapping his head with a Duplo horse, and pretending he was Clare Balding.

“It’s nice to have the truth out there at last”, smiled O’Leary, while holding a big microphone just yards from his face.

“People often suspect celebrities to get up to all sorts when they’re off-camera. But not me! They just take my hair off, and put me in a box.”

However, O’Leary also claimed he wasn’t entirely bland an unthreatening, and he’d been given a warning in the past. “I’ve still got it here, I keep it to remind me. It says ‘Choking hazard, not suitable for 0-3 years’.”

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Judge in Pistorius trial eyes up Dermot O’Leary’s ‘result delivery length’ record

Judge Masipa, the Judge delivering her verdict in the Oscar Pistorius murder trail has stated she may take two days to sum up the case and deliver the verdict, beating the current result delivery record held by The X-Factor’s Dermot O’Leary.

O’Leary has become well-known for dragging a result out for as long as possible for effect, often carrying it over two highly lucrative advertising breaks.
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