‘Future celebrity murder trials to be Pay-Per-View’, Sky announce.


Following on from the previous success of the OJ Simpson trial, and now the Oscar Pistorius murder trial, Sky have announced the next big ‘celebrity murdering partner’ court case will be pay-per-view.

“Of course it is sad that someone has to die in these cases, and if we could somehow have a murder trial without it then we would,” a Sky Box Office spokesman said.

“But that aside, there is money to be made. With added revenue from an armchair jury willing to pay £15 a week for the entertainment, we could get Ant and Dec to present it with expert analysis from law experts and previous defendants.”

With slow motion CCTV replays where available, a 3D option, and competitions to win tickets to the final verdict show Sky believe the entertainment shows will be bigger than the Haye v Chisora fight last year.

However a Murdoch representative confirmed Sky would only give voyeuristic coverage to celebrities accused of murder, and not smaller cases into things like phone hacking an payments to police officers.

“Not only is this a first in TV terms, but if all goes to plan, we hope by 2017 courts will be able to dispense with juries altogether in favour of a public text vote” the spokesman continued.

“And even the sentencing will become more entertaining with Ant and Dec giving anyone found guilty the option of a prison term of 30 years, or eating a kangaroo testicle sandwich.”

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