As staff at London’s Hunterian museum prepare to exhibit the skull of the original Pooh bear, other museums have begun trawling through their store rooms for similar grisly treasures.
Tag Archives: dead
Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz died in hospital after a short battle with modernisation, which he lost when he took a dose of human rights abuses.
People across the spectrum of animal training have acknowledged the tragic demise of Harold’s first ‘shark whisperer’.
Benjamin Evans always insisted that sharks were misunderstood, despite being giant, stupid fish full of razor-sharp teeth. Eschewing the shark cage in favour of speaking quite softly, Evans’ technique was radically different from the accepted norm.
Evans developed his technique after winning a goldfish in an online game of poker. As soon as it arrived, the expert felt drawn to the animal, and instinctively knew that it definitely spoke English.
PC Flegg has revealed that her investigations into Harold’s deadly aquarium have found the reason why so few fish survived in the new exhibit. Working with local fish expert Stephen Trawlerman and some tip-offs from Facebook, the culprit can finally be revealed.
“Asking Trawlerman to help proved to be a mistake”, said Flegg. “His experience with fish proved to be of little help.” Trawlerman is well known as the owner of local chip shop ‘The Stephen Fryer’, but Flegg admits resident marine biologist Simon Parsons might have been a better advisor.
After extensive laboratory tests and thorough phorensic investigations, the breakthrough came from Lynda Mulrooney. Thanks to her ‘back-to-basics’ approach, the reason for the fish deaths was a complete absence of water.
“We’ve filled the tanks with sparkling Evian now, nothing is too good for a fish living in Harold”, said Flegg.
“Although in hindsight, looking after exotic animals might be beyond that idot Trawlerman. We’re currently trying to undrown his pet iguana.”
Congratulations, Lynda Mulrooney! You are Harold’s No.1 Top Detective! A binful of rotting fish is winging its way to you, so you might want to pretend to be out.
A new village aquarium is already facing closure, after the majority of its exhibits were found dead.
Built with money from a European grant to put ‘a big fish tank in every community’, Harold’s ‘See Sealife’ Centre was intended to be the jewel in the parish council’s crown. But just hours after opening, fish of all sizes were found to be ‘lifeless and somewhat pungent’, and PC Flegg suspects there could be foul play at work.