In a lasting memorial to the late Cilla Black, the mayor of Liverpool, Joe Anderson has announced that her monumental gnashers are to be made into a full sized replica of Stonehenge. Continue reading
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“He strode out of the helicopter and asked where the first tee was” said English Heritage’s Stonehenge manager Kate Davies. “I thought he wanted a cuppa so I pointed him in the direction of the visitor centre.”
“Next thing I heard a loud bang and Obama muttering ‘bloody stones’.”
A team of archaeologists has made a startling discovery near Stonehenge – an ancient visitor centre, dating back to the Mesolithic period.
Crudely constructed from stone and featuring ramp access for chariots, the ancient visitor centre was found while digging the foundations for a new visitor centre on the same spot.
“At first we weren’t sure what we’d found, which means it was definitely for ritual purposes”, said local historian George Hubert. “But we kept on digging, and soon discovered what appeared to be a diorama.”
The diorama is thought to represent the famous circle of standing stones, but was clearly made from old teeth and bits of knee caps.
A local religious group, the Druids of Harold, have embarked on a project to bring some mystical culture to the village with a life-sized replica of Stonehenge. The replica will be made with the same rock as the original, which will be dug up in Pembrokeshire and will be transported by the same means using forced Welsh slavery.
The rocks, which will weigh around 25 tons each, will be taken over water along the south coast of Wales and then up the river Avon. They will then rolled on top of tree trunks on the road, going on the M4 southbound, clockwise around the M25, then north on the M1, before coming off at Dunstable and onward to Harold.