A local religious group, the Druids of Harold, have embarked on a project to bring some mystical culture to the village with a life-sized replica of Stonehenge. The replica will be made with the same rock as the original, which will be dug up in Pembrokeshire and will be transported by the same means using forced Welsh slavery.
The rocks, which will weigh around 25 tons each, will be taken over water along the south coast of Wales and then up the river Avon. They will then rolled on top of tree trunks on the road, going on the M4 southbound, clockwise around the M25, then north on the M1, before coming off at Dunstable and onward to Harold.
“To keep every level of authenticity we can to this build, we’re looking to abduct about 750 Welsh slaves to move the stones from Pembrokeshire to their final resting place in Harold” Gwinfor Trevelliss the head of the group explained.
“At the last head count we had managed to recruit approximately 2, and they were both sent from the job centre.”
If successful, the monument will be erected on the wasteland behind the village hall. The site was chosen as it would not only accommodate the replica Stonehenge, but a change in the planning laws means it will also allow for a 15m extension in the future.
“As with the original we intend to hold ceremonies and festivals to mark important dates in the calender” Trevelliss continued, “but the Salisbury branch have the equinox pretty well covered. That’s why we are rotating ours a little so the stones line up with the sun on the morning of the final of ‘the X-Factor’.”