Despite spending their time in office being mocked harder than Henry V when the tennis balls turned up, John Major and George W Bush have lurched back into the spotlight as respected elder statesman with valid points to make. Transformations so weird and unsettling many believe them to be a sign of the End Times. Continue reading
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John Major has warned voters that a Labour/SNP coalition would ruin the country at a much higher cost than the Conservatives.
“When it comes to asset stripping and smashing glorious institutions into tiny pieces, the private sector has a lot more experience”, said Sir John.
“While we’re sure that Alex Salmond and Ed Miliband are more than capable of ruining almost anything, you have to ask yourself, ‘at what cost?’
Disenchanted voters have been complaining about the lack of sex scandals within the current Tory party.
“It’s disappointing,” complained Harold support worker Mark Keen. “This lot are so into telling us all how to live and going on about family this and decent, honest people that that by now you’d’ve thought at least half of them would’ve been caught trousers down or skirt up in a petting zoo.”