Politics now so crap John Major and George W are wise elder statesmen

So odd he seemed more human when portrayed as a latex puppet: now he’s the best of us

Despite spending their time in office being mocked harder than Henry V when the tennis balls turned up, John Major and George W Bush have lurched back into the spotlight as respected elder statesman with valid points to make. Transformations so weird and unsettling many believe them to be a sign of the End Times.  

Remember when he was the most unlikely and incompetent US President? Good times.

“This is extremely worrying,” New York-based scientist Dr Peter Venkman told us. “We all know what’s coming next: human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”

While politics on both sides of the Atlantic may have sunk to such a low that Major and Bush can re-emerge as highly regarded political Dumbledores dispensing wisdom with a twinkle in their eyes,  we would like to assure concerned readers that there is absolutely no chance of the same thing happening with Tony Blair.