Category Archives: NHS

Nothing compares 2 Q: Hunt getting good lowdown tingle over record NHS waiting times

‘Do we actually need an NHS?’ the whole Cabinet replied ‘No’

Marmalade entrepreneur, Jeremy Hunt has welcomed record NHS figures released this week and was in expansive mood when interviewed by the Evening Harold.

“It would be wrong to make political capital out of this” smiled the multi-millionaire, polishing his NHS lapel badge, “but these figures vindicate the Conservative approach to the NHS.”

“You know, I was in the room when the policy was agreed,” he said. “The PM wrote on the whiteboard ‘Do we really need an NHS?’ and the whole Cabinet replied ‘No, we all Continue reading

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NHS team up with Disney World for tips on queue management

NHS trusts in the UK have teamed up with U.S. based Disneyworld consultants to help manage increasing pressures on hospital queue targets.
Heading up the Disney team is Roy Peterson Jr, whose overarching strategy is clear: ”Who on earth would want to reduce queues? That’s where your quaint little doctors and nurses game has gone wrong – it’s all about optimising the size of the queue and then keeping people distracted whilst they are waiting – easy”. He went on “And FREE at the point of service? that stinks, we’ll be introducing a new smart wristband in the Autumn, one easy fee for up to 3 extra treatments per month”. Continue reading

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