Following their takeover of the computer games firm Mojang, the makers of the popular game Minecraft, Microsoft have quickly started with the branding of the game by releasing their first mod, a helpful paper clip.
“We realised as soon as we took control of Minecraft that the help section was missing a little something,” Satya Nadella, the tech giant’s chief executive said.
“So we have brought back everyone favourite little unwanted helper from the 90s. It will use it’s old slap-dash approach to figure out what you might be doing and then offer you help with something completely different. It will keep the game interesting if anything.”
Osborne will perform tracks by The Ramones, Joy Division and Bob the Builder.
Chancellor George Osborne is hoping to boost his popularity, by taking his new ‘mod’ hair on the road and playing at Glastonbury.
Osborne, who now drops his aitches and calls the festival ‘Glasto’, has been remodelled into what politicians believe is ‘the average punter’.
“Plebs ‘n that, they don’ like airs n’ graces an’ all that”, explained Osborne. “So ar’ve decided to be meself, or at least be the meself that wouldn’t have been bullied quite so relentlessly at school.”
The product looked so convincing, nobody was aware of the con
Children’s magazines from the UK and the USA have been found guilty of fraud after they were caught advertising X-Ray specs.
The specs, which were seen advertised in many 70’s and 80’s magazines such as ‘Combat and Survival’, ‘Soldier of Fortune’ and even the usually reputable ‘Beano’ have been proven not to work, which not only put boys at risk as they tried to see their teacher’s underwear, but also our forces who were using the specs to look for hidden explosives.