“WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!”
Following John Lewis and Sainsbury’s, Bargain Booze have become the latest retailer to unveil their Christmas TV advert.
The UK off licence chain have worked tirelessly on the ad, which aired for the first time at 9.15 last night on Challenge, during the first break in a repeat of a 2011 episode of Pointless. Continue reading
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“You’re right dear; the turkey does look a bit dry.”
Balloon sales at John Lewis have gone through the roof, thanks to an advertising campaign to send unwanted old people to the moon.
With the moon now reachable using just helium and ribbons, nice middle-class families are hoping for a relatively relative-free Christmas.
“I was dreading another year of having to ignore rude comments about my cooking”, said Pippa Delaney. “But with nan approximately 385,000 kilometres away in a prograde elliptical orbit, we should be able to stand for the Queen’s speech in silence this year, without anyone calling her a slut.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Christmas, Media
Promised £2, delivered 2p. Typical
Department store John Lewis has made contact with the parents of a forty two-year-old man who had written a letter of apology after he broke the UK economy.
The man, who signed his name simply as George, inexplicably sent the letter to the John Lewis store in Cambridge after he accidentally broke the economy while serving as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Continue reading
Crying is now a Christmas tradition.
Harold’s local businesses are taking their lead from some of the countries leading retailers and trying their hardest to reduce their customers to tears in a hope to increase Christmas sales.
Chamber of Commerce Chairwoman Pippa Delaney explained the initiative.
“The idea came to me watching my husband dissolve into a whimpering wreck after the John Lewis and Sainsbury’s contrived tear jerkers. I pitched it to the rest of the Chamber, and we soon came up with some really good ideas to get our punters weeping.”
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