Tag Archives: tears

Failed Bake Off contestant thrown out of village


Evans was presented with a black forest get out cake.

A contestant who was eliminated from the first round of the Great British Bake Off has been barred from returning to the village.

Many in Harold had initially been excited to spot Harriet Evans on the hit BBC show, but the joy swiftly turned to disgust when it was revealed her Swiss Roll was ‘a bit dry’.

“What the f**k was she thinking?” asked cllr Ron Ronsson. “Just 8 fluid ounces of milk with that much flour was never going to put Harold on the map. She left us with no choice but to burn down her cottage.”
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Harold traders dreaming of a tearful Christmas


Crying is now a Christmas tradition.

Harold’s local businesses are taking their lead from some of the countries leading retailers and trying their hardest to reduce their customers to tears in a hope to increase Christmas sales.

Chamber of Commerce Chairwoman Pippa Delaney explained the initiative.

“The idea came to me watching my husband dissolve into a whimpering wreck after the John Lewis and Sainsbury’s contrived tear jerkers. I pitched it to the rest of the Chamber, and we soon came up with some really good ideas to get our punters weeping.”

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