Is it better to forgive, or to forget?
Hello! It’s lovely of you to let me write a sermon for your long-standing and respected institution, let’s hope I don’t end up ruining it completely! I don’t have a lot of experience of not completely destroying everything I touch, but practice makes one even more perfect.
What I want to talk to you about today is something very dear to my heart: forgiveness. Forgiveness is a cornerstone of my faith, and not forgiving someone is nearly the same as doing the thing you haven’t forgiven me for yourself.
For instance, say a fine, upstanding member of the banking community were to accidentally take lots of drugs. Should you forgive them? My faith instinctively tells me ‘yes.’ Because not saying ‘that’s fine Paul, no real harm done, let’s forget it and move on’ means that you have effectively bought Crystal Meth off a rent boy yourself.
Toronto mayor and crack smoker Rob Ford. Strange, we’d always thought that crack was an appetite suppressant.
As Toronto mayor Rob Ford continues to stumble around that city smashing into objects and councillors like a rubbish Godzilla, crack has finally become a thing in the eyes of white people.
“I’m not racist,” said Harold councillor Ron Ronsson. “Far from it, I watched every episode of The Wire, but I’d always assumed that crack was an urban problem like Tyler Perry films. Now I know it can effect rich, middle-aged white men in good jobs, well, now it’s firmly on my radar.” Continue reading
Filed under News, Politics
Mayor Jackson in reflective mood.
The Mayor of the village of Harold has vowed not to resign, despite police confirmation that they have a video of him apparently eating a local pensioner.
Mayor Rufus D Jackson, who had previously denied being a murderous man-eating monster, appeared emotional as he insisted to journalists this morning that “a few isolated bouts of cannibalism” should not prevent him from doing his job.
After months of ducking the question, Mr Jackson acknowledged at a press conference outside Harold’s butcher supplies emporium that he had merely “eaten one or two people” while “really really hungry”.