Tag Archives: paul flowers

Guest sermon: Methadonist Minister Paul Flowers preaches forgiveness

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Is it better to forgive, or to forget?

Hello! It’s lovely of you to let me write a sermon for your long-standing and respected institution, let’s hope I don’t end up ruining it completely! I don’t have a lot of experience of not completely destroying everything I touch, but practice makes one even more perfect.

What I want to talk to you about today is something very dear to my heart: forgiveness. Forgiveness is a cornerstone of my faith, and not forgiving someone is nearly the same as doing the thing you haven’t forgiven me for yourself.

For instance, say a fine, upstanding member of the banking community were to accidentally take lots of drugs. Should you forgive them? My faith instinctively tells me ‘yes.’ Because not saying ‘that’s fine Paul, no real harm done, let’s forget it and move on’ means that you have effectively bought Crystal Meth off a rent boy yourself.
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Filed under Economy, From the Vicarage, Vicars

Former Co-op bank boss not worried about arrest: ‘Bankers don’t go to prison’

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The former boss of the Co-op Bank, Paul Flowers has been arrested by police in connection with a ‘drug supply investigation’.

Despite being questioned by police, his lawyers have said they are pretty confident no charges will be brought against their client as generally ‘bankers don’t go to prison’.

“People say bankers learnt nothing after the global financial crash,” a member of his legal team said. “But they did actually learn one very important lesson. Bankers don’t go to jail, especially the incompetent ones.

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Filed under Crime, News

Shame of ex drug dealer filmed ‘being chairman of bank’

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Flowers, top lip seen moments after snorting enormous line

Paul ‘Ernesto’ Flowers, the former cocaine baron leader of the Medellin cartel, has apologised after a newspaper reported he had become the chairman of a high street bank.

A video on the Mail on Sunday website shows Flowers, who is also a member of Al-Qaeda, openly fronting a presentation to Co-op shareholders on probable Q4 earnings and a future strategy to reduce the fixed cost base.

He was filmed by notorious East End gangster ‘Razors’ McCoy, an acquaintance who also happened to have a minor shareholding in the bank. McCoy told the paper he exposed the banker because he was “disgusted by his hypocrisy”.
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Filed under Business, Crime, Vicars