Tag Archives: benedict cumberbatch

by | June 21, 2016 · 2:10 pm

Nation braced for being told how to vote by actors

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Two people who live on a planet so different from ours they might as well be aliens

As the referendum campaigns enter their final frothing madness stage the UK is braced for a barrage of instruction from some of the most over-praised and overpaid people in the country. The list is long however the Evening Harold managed to catch up with two of the nation’s leading and most talkative thesps who spake unto us from their bubble of privilege.

Benedict Cumberbatch who last year in the West End nightly treated fans to a very long and ill-informed speech on Syria with a quick couple of scenes from Hamlet thrown in at the beginning said that actors should tell people what to do because “we’re just better than you”. Continue reading →

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by | August 26, 2015 · 5:12 am

Cumberbatch’s Hamlet first night: Player ratings

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It was a play of two halves.

For those of you unable to make the long awaited opening night performance and unable to view it on You Tube thanks to a rather unreasonable ban on mobile filming, our Arts Correspondent Mariella Buss-Stop puts down her pint and casts her eyes over the cast’s performance at Elsinore last night.

From their hissed greeting at the appearance of old King Hamlet’s ghost to the mass weeping hysteria when the great one dies, the pubescent Cumberbitches’ in the audience made their presence felt last night at the Barbican. It could take days to mop up.

Here are my ratings for the players:            Continue reading →

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by | January 27, 2015 · 7:00 am

Benedict Cumberbatch joins UKIP

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Take this. I’m off to save the pound.

After facing criticism for calling black people  ‘coloured’ on US television, Benedict Cumberbatch has confirmed he has gone one step further and become a member of UKIP.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage was reportedly ‘delighted’ at finding someone else rich, white and gaffe-prone to help replace the increasing numbers of his party who are defecting to even more extreme right-wing organisations, like the Conservative Party.

Cumberbatch swiftly issued an apology for his ‘incorrect’ and ‘offensive’ use of the phrase, saying: ‘I’m devastated to have caused offense by using this outmoded terminology.”

“I appreciate that by accidentally using one word instead of another word I have committed the ultimate crime, for which no punishment can ever be sufficient, no humiliation too great. And so I have decided to join UKIP.” Continue reading →

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by | November 21, 2014 · 2:30 pm

Film Review: The Imitation Game – the tale of a war hero who is buggered by the State

the_imitation_game-33306If a man whose work shortened the war by two years was destroyed by the state for being gay; who knows what they would have done back in the 1950s to Graham Norton for presenting insipid chat shows.

This World War II movie is a story of the relationship between eccentric mathematical genius, Alan Turing played annoyingly well by Benedict Cumberbatch, and his one true love Christopher, the machine that he created to crack the Nazi enigma codes at the top-secret Bletchley Park.

To break the monotony of frustrated ex-public schoolboys, an alluring Keira Knightley is introduced as a brilliant crossword solver, however it turns out that the gay Turing is not for turning. In a touching scene towards the end of the film, Turing declares his devotion to the whirring Christopher leaving Keira to seek a boffin elsewhere. Continue reading →

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by | November 1, 2014 · 8:00 am

Benedict Cumberbatch the Musical opens in London

Benedict Cumberbatch is an ordained minister

It features the heart-rendering ballad Don’t Cry for Me, Martin Freeman

Benedict Cumberbatch the Musical has its première in the West End tonight setting what many are calling the biggest tourist and hen night trap since A Midsummer Night’s Sheeran.

“I’ve done Jesus, I’ve done Eva Peron, now it’s time to do a true legend,” said composer Andrew Lloyd Webber. “Audiences are going to be swept along by the rags-to-riches story as just like Jean Valjean, Benedict grows up in Kensington, attends Harrow then both Manchester University and LAMDA. Finally with just all the contacts he’s made plus both his parents being actors he somehow manages to break into show business. Remarkable.” Continue reading →

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by | November 12, 2013 · 11:00 am

Star Wars fans angry at news next movie will be set around Bristol

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These aren’t the droids Eeyore looking for

Star Wars fans were venting their anger this morning after news leaked out from Disney studios that unusually for the series, the next Star Wars film will be set “largely in Bristol and Somerset.”

The current open casting auditions in Bristol had led some film buffs to question whether characters from the next film would have West Country accents, and it now seems that this is no accident.

“We’re really excited at the prospect of filming in the south west of England,” explained a Disney spokesperson today. “It’s a lovely part of the world, and fits very well with the plot of the next movie, which I can’t give away but is heavily based around cider.”
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