A radical solution to the epidemic of obesity that has seen the UK increasingly resemble a badly dressed Moominland comes into force today. For every day that those declared by their doctors to be both fat and lazy refuse to exercise a government appointed executioner will shoot a donkey. Continue reading
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Government to execute donkey a day until we exercise: obesity crisis solved
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Filed under Health
Rare goat-sheep-donkey-boy born on local farm
A rare hybrid being that is part goat, part sheep, part donkey and part human boy child has been born on a farm on the outskirts of Harold Village.
The animal, referred to as a gooney boy, was born about two weeks ago on local farmer Lionel Garage’s farm.
The unexpected arrival is thought to be the result of mating between a goat, a sheep, a donkey and one of the potato-pickers.
Mr Garage said the cross-breeding was not intentional. “It was a pure shock to the system,” he said, “definitely a one-off.”
“I’ve never seen anything like him before,” he told the Evening Harold, “and I come from a long line of sheep-shaggers.”
Star Wars fans angry at news next movie will be set around Bristol
Star Wars fans were venting their anger this morning after news leaked out from Disney studios that unusually for the series, the next Star Wars film will be set “largely in Bristol and Somerset.”
The current open casting auditions in Bristol had led some film buffs to question whether characters from the next film would have West Country accents, and it now seems that this is no accident.
“We’re really excited at the prospect of filming in the south west of England,” explained a Disney spokesperson today. “It’s a lovely part of the world, and fits very well with the plot of the next movie, which I can’t give away but is heavily based around cider.”
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Filed under Culture, Farming, Showbusiness
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