Term time Disney – as empty as her education.
Children returning to school after term-time trips abroad could face a wall of silence around work they have missed while taking advantage of cheaper fares.
That’s the recommendation of teachers who see fines as ineffective against low- and middle-income parents who believe they have a right to go on discounted vacations in June that they couldn’t have afforded at summer market prices.
“Parents may think their children can catch up, or get the worksheets they missed – but if these measures are introduced, they will not even be informed what topics were covered while they were away. They won’t even know there is a 7-times table,” warned Carly Jeffery, assistant teacher at St. Mary’s primary school. Continue reading
Children spend a useful hour learning how to put on jumpers.
A school in Harold is letting parents take holidays in term time, but only if their offspring aren’t ‘promising’.
Head mistress of St. Mary’s primary school Alison Lee explained that her dimmest pupils can leave any time they like, but urged parents to ‘try at least’ to clash with OFSTED inspections.
“A lot of the brighter parents come to me and say that a holiday in some far-away paradise can be educational for their children”, said Lee. “But when they come back, their maths tends not to have improved in the slightest.”
“But when the Evans’ took their pair of mouth-breathers to a caravan in Rhyll in September, our SATS predictions climbed by 7%. It was an astonishing result; on average, even their two brainless dolts have benefited. As I told Mr Evans, I knew they’d have better luck educating them.”
Dietary advice not well received by parents
The National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT) is issuing advice to parents about how to keep their children happy, news which has angered some in the local community. “Tell your children you love them, keep them clean, and let them help with exotic cooking” are some of the patronising tips which will appear in a leaflet to be sent home with parents.
The MP for Harold, Spencer Chadwick, has had to admit trying to make his family seem “as common as constituents” by linking working class establishments to more upper class alternatives with a link of tunnels running under the village.
The Conservative member of parliament can often be seen posing for pictures dropping his children off at the gates to the local state school. However, the moment his children enter the school they are ushered away from the other children and taken through one of the tunnels on a chauffeur driven Segway to a £4000-a-term private school three miles away.
Filed under News, Politics
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The UK has fallen outside of the top 20 in a world league table of educational standards, a result seen as “positive” by X-Factor creator, Simon Cowell.
“Having an education is one thing, but aiming for a decent career takes away people’s ambition to be famous for five minutes,” Cowell said.