Tag Archives: mp

Ched Evans urges public to ‘think hard’ over re-electing Nick Clegg

Not a suitable role model

Not a suitable role model

Convicted rapist Ched Evans has urged the public to “think really long and hard” before voting for Nick Clegg again in upcoming elections.

Evans, a Wales international footballer who was jailed in 2012 for raping a 19-year-old woman, said “When you elect an MP, you are not just taking on a representative for your community, you are electing a role model. You have to ask yourself ‘do this man’s actions over the last few years make him the sort of person we want our kids looking up to?’ and I would suggest the answer is a resounding ‘no’.” Continue reading

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‘Nazi-MP’ steps down: ‘Tories too right wing for me’

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The Conservative MP at the heart of a Nazi-party controversy has announced he will step down from his position saying even he thought “the party was drifting further right than the Third Reich”.

“I may have bought Nazi costumes but I didn’t realise there was a serious risk they would become standard uniform,” Aidan Burley said.

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Local MP caught using secret tunnels to help him appear normal

1506402_10151928599423149_352713619_nThe MP for Harold, Spencer Chadwick, has had to admit trying to make his family seem “as common as constituents” by linking working class establishments to more upper class alternatives with a link of tunnels running under the village.

The Conservative member of parliament can often be seen posing for pictures dropping his children off at the gates to the local state school. However, the moment his children enter the school they are ushered away from the other children and taken through one of the tunnels on a chauffeur driven Segway to a £4000-a-term private school three miles away.

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Ancient cave painting thought to be first example of MP’s expense claim

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Fifteen years of research on cave paintings in Harold Gorge has come to the conclusion the markings are an early example of a cave-man parliamentarian’s expenses claim.

“The first few items indicated these drawings may have been a way for a cave-man to document the time he lived in” local historian, Sam Tully explained. “We are used to seeing images of predators and family.

“But we really got confused by the pictures of a chauffeur driven walrus and cart, badger fur rug, and detailed drawing of a moat being cleaned.”

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